I was staggered yesterday whilst in the pub with a group of men and not one of them said they were happy with life. These blokes weren’t in their twenties, no, they were in their thirties and forties. They’d been through all of the rapid changes that naturally occur in life these days and they’d come out the other side in a place they didn’t want to be.
Hardly any of them were happy with their occupation and all of them were dreaming about escaping for a weekend, or a week, just to get out of it temporarily and remember their carefree youthful years. Escaping the grind of day-to-day for a short-term fix. This just perpetuates the problem though and slowly the desire to escape takes over the day-to-day and then you’re forced to make a change. So, what can these chaps do about it?
The obvious answer would be to see me with my other hat on and I’d design a specific coaching programme for them but, assuming they’re all shy, what else can they do?
1. What do you want to do?
I’ll let you in on a secret. Go on the internet and you’ll see people taking money hand over fist for this little nugget of wisdom. Are you ready? It’s pretty obvious.
“You’re never going to be happy unless you know what you want.”
I told you it was straightforward but when you look at that again, how many people can honestly say they do know what they want. I bet that most of you will say you know what you don’t want, but that’s easy. There’s a whole bunch of reasons why it’s important to flip that question around and concentrate on the positive but I won’t go in to that now. Just believe me.
It’s straightforward but cheapen it at your peril. Once you know it, you can do all sorts of good stuff like, work back from whatever it is to realise what you need to do to achieve it, you can visualise it, you can motivate yourself with it, get excited about it, prepare for it.
It’s the biggest and most important thing you could do in your whole life.
2. Smell the roses
How many of you live in a war torn village where your mum and sister have just been raped, and you live in daily fear of getting killed? Exactly. Things can be a lot worse in this world. Get over yourself and cheer up.
You have so many things to be thankful for in your life that it’s kind of a waste when you concentrate on the 2 or 3 things that aren’t quite right. Start enjoying the good parts and really appreciate them, don’t let the negative stuff ruin the positives.
Do you honestly think that happy people only have good things happen to them? Of course not, but they don’t let it affect their mood. Life is made up of good and bad, it’s bitter sweet, ying and yang, to every action is an equal and opposite reaction, that’s just the way it goes but you can control the way that you respond to it. In other words, choose happiness.
Cut all of the crap out of your life. All that stuff that just gets in the way of you being able to enjoy the simple pleasures. The more stuff you have the more you worry about losing it, or breaking it, or not being able to pay for it, or updating it, or getting the value out of it. Self-made strife that you can do without.
Again find what it is that makes you happy but then ensure that you have what you need to be able to do that. All other stuff – get rid. Why do you care?
One of the best things I ever did was get rid of the clutter from my life. This can refer to material things, or people, or anything that creates negativity for no reason.
So, there you go. It’s not easy to find true happiness but on the other hand it’s the easiest thing you could ever do. Nothing is stopping you feeling happy immediately but you have to make a change for that to happen. No excuses anymore, do you want to wait until you’re sixty before you start thinking about it? Get on with it.
Do you have any good reason why you can’t be happy?