Porn on the Fourth of July

*** WARNING – THIS IS NOT A REMAKE OF FIFTY SHADES OF GREY ***

I have a problem, that isn’t really a problem, but it might be a problem one day. I can’t help thinking about my Nan reading my books when I’m writing.

I know this is my fault for having such a wonderfully, supportive family, and to be true to my art these days I should have come from an orphanage with a possible history of being a child abuse victim. But I know that my Nan, who is in her late eighties, will read whatever tripe I come out with.

Porn on the Fourth of July

This isn’t a problem at the moment because I’m writing books that are not controversial or scandalous at all. But what if I do? What if I hear a desperate calling to write Porn on the Fourth of July; a sad tale of a family reunion that gets manipulated by the eldest daughters MILF-loving boyfriend, resulting in depravity, violence, and heartbreak.

This sort of thing could finish my dear old Nan off. I like to think that I’m loved at the moment but what if this was her final view of me. I don’t know if I’d come back from that.

Freedom

I believe that life should be about freedom, and that starts in your own mind; the old adage, Dance as if no one can see you, Sing as if no one can hear you… and maybe, Write as if no one will read you.

This state of mind makes sense to me, because you can’t really think about how your audience will perceive your words without getting seriously cramped up. So, this is where I find myself. Allowing the thought of my Nan to inhibit my freedom.

I suppose the only way of avoiding this would be to write children’s books, however the risk of then changing tact with an army of child followers behind me would be even more excruciating. Would that be Literary Grooming? Aaarrgghh.

I must stop thinking of this as a problem that isn’t a problem, and trust the fact that I’ll probably never feel qualified enough to write a scene from Porn on the Fourth of July anyway. I will attempt to continue through this minefield avoiding scenes of explicit content, and characters with remotely perverse ideas. I promise to my readers that any type of human interaction will be kept brief, and Amish.

Anyone else feel the pressure of cleanliness?

 

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11 responses to “Porn on the Fourth of July

  1. Not a pressure for ‘cleanliness’ but analogy. I had this one teacher that pulled Freud out of Frankenstein and read about a reviewer that pulled a messanic archtype out of an arc in One Piece. Both were focused on small details and ignored the plot itself. Its as if they were looking for a different story inside the real one.

    Anyway, I love that line at the start: “and to be true to my art these days I should have come from an orphanage with a possible history of being a child abuse victim”. On TVtropes we call that kind of thing “True Art is Angsty”. We like to laugh at it.

    • That’s great, “true art is angsty.” I’ve never been that angry with the world, I’m more of an ‘accept and carry on’ type of guy. Oh well, I guess I’ll just be a writer rather than an artist then. After all, calling what I write, “my art” does sound rather pretentious. 🙂

  2. I don’t write erotic books, but have been known to throw in a steamy sex scene or two. They are just fun to write and great for conflict. But, every time I think, ‘no way could I let my mother or father read this.’ but, I have to put that out of my mind and focus on what’s good for the story. My mom maybe my biggest fan, but I don’t want her to be my only fan.

  3. Love this! ‘literary grooming’ made me laugh hehe! I used to feel this pressure but now i know i have to stay true to myself.

  4. Pingback: Authors And Their Rude Bits | Michael J Holley - Writer

  5. LOL! I’ve written some stories that are a bit raunchy and one was even a farce that involved some explicit sex scenes. I was terrified of sharing them with my trusted writers groups for feedback. But I did it. And they liked the stories! They even laughed out loud at the farce one and advised me on how to improve it. In fact, since most of the group is women, let’s just say I was privileged to learn a lot about the female psyche in those meetings 😉

    Now they’re encouraging me to send them out for publication. Yes, my fear has returned 😀

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