“What are you doing?”
“I’m trying to achieve my dreams.”
“Jolly good, carry on.”
But the problem with dreams, is that you never know when you’re dreaming until you wake up. You then look back and occasionally (unless you’re one of those people that always remembers a dream, I’m not) think about what a lovely/weird/deranged/funny/erotic??? dream you’ve just had. So, how can you learn to live in your dream?
When I was an accountant I would sit in my office, stare out of the window, and dream about the life of a writer. I would spend hours daydreaming about the possible lifestyle I would have. I used to think that it would be a completely different existence; one of coffee shops, long literary conversations with people that wear cravats, and exotic field trips where I would recreate a characters footsteps in order to really get in to the role.
But obviously this imaginary writers lifestyle could never really come true, and I wouldn’t want it to anyway. (I think I’d hate literary conversations with cravat wearing nobs) However, I have completely changed my life. I am fortunate to be able to dedicate a full-time schedule to writing, and I am now able to be as flexible as I like. I know that somewhere down the line I have to get these blasted books out, and I like the focus of achieving that, but I can do the work around other things that are happening. I could’ve only dreamt of that happening a couple of years ago.
Last night I attended a cocktail evening at the Royal Yacht Squadron, which is an incredibly exclusive Sailing Club in which membership is usually past down through certain families. They opened their doors slightly wider yesterday and the event was super posh; I felt like I was in an Alan Whicker documentary from the 80’s. I was mixing it up with the aristocracy and sailing fraternities of the South of England, and proudly announcing that I was a writer, and that I would have a couple of books published by the end of the year.
Instead of these lovely people laughing politely at me, and slowly moving away, I was actually taken seriously. This made me think about the whole dream-life part. I’ve concluded that I’m actually in my dream right now. This isn’t, as I falsely believed, some weird anteroom where I’m waiting to get into my dream later on. Just because I haven’t published the things yet, my lifestyle is still a writer’s, and the one that I had dreamt of.
Reality is never going to appear to be wildly different because it tends to creep up on you. You never get straight to your dreams, you push your way along, and in the process you gradually change your situation, your outlook, and your way of life. All of a sudden you’re bang smack in the middle of your dream, but you assume that the dream bit is still in front of you. I still feel like the same person that I’ve always been, and yet I assumed that I would somehow transform in to Charles Dickens.
One of the greatest disappointments in life would be to achieve your dreams and sadly never know it. Unfortunately, the nature of a dream means that it’s not real, so what can you do? I’m pretty sure that I’m dreaming right now, and I just want it to get bigger, and go on forever. I never want to wake up.
So, how do you know when you’re dreaming?